High School (Never Ends)
by Kitty Qin
Summary: The Olympians won the Giant War. Now our favorite demigods (and stayr) must overcome another adversary. High School. Well, you know what they say. In Rome, do as the Romans do. Crack fic. Rated T for language (like one word).
1. Chapter I: Grover in a Teacher's Meeting

Chapter I: Grover in A Teacher's Meeting

Summary: The Olympians won the Giant War. Now our favorite demigods (and stayr) must overcome another adversary. High School. Well, you know what they say, in Rome, do as the Romans do. Crack fic.

**A/N: So... this is my newest story! Anyway, if you've read any of my previous stories, you know that I have a habit of not updating that often. Read: I right one chapter and abandon them. But I swear, swear that this is not going to happen here. I've already written most of the chapters and I'll add a new one each week. BTW, this fic was written with one of my friends so if you're wondering why it seems a lot more random... yeah that's why. I tried to keep the characters as IC as I could though.**

**Also don't worry, it gets a lot less random towards the end.**

**(no it doesn't)**

**hey, its crack**

**And yeah, I totally ripped off the title from the Bowling For Soup song.**

Cast of High School (Never Ends) (not in order):

Brooklyn Academy of the Gifted (BAG)

Piper McLean

Leo Valdez

Drew Tanaka

Lacy

Sadie Kane

Carter Kane

Goode High School

Percy Jackson

Annabeth Chase

Grover (Teacher)

Highschool of Rome

Jason Grace

Reyna Avila Ramirez-Arellano

Hogwarts Academy (I love Xovers)

Nico Di Angelo

Hazel Levesque

Frank Zhang

**Quick note, I actually have no idea what teachers actually do in their meetings. This is just what I think they might do. In my imagination, though. And my imagination is a pretty messed up place.**

**Anyway, teachers (probably) don't act like this, but it makes a pretty funny story.**

* * *

Grover clumped to the Faculty Room. Schist. He was going to be late to his first teacher's meeting!

He slammed opened the door, "GROVER UNDERWOOD, REPORTING FOR DUTY!" he shouted.

The other teachers stared in shock at their newest addition. The principal froze in the middle of his speech. Paul Blofis face-palmed.

Grover lost his enthusiasm. Did he say something wrong? Gleeson Hedge told him to always say that when coming to important meetings like this.

Ugh. Grover should have known better than to listen to that old satyr.

"Sorry, can we try this again? Excuse me," Grover apologized.

The satyr walked back out the room, closing the door. He waited five seconds before reopening the door, adjusting his tie.

"Good morning, fellow staff members of Goode High School-"

"It's evening," cut in an old lady.

"Shut up, old lady!" Grover snapped.

The lady glared, indignant.

"Excuse you, _young man_, but I am the Vice Principal."

Grover paled. He stuttered out an apology, "_Baaah_, schist, I-I'm so soo sorry."

The principal cleared his throat.

"Well, then. Now that we're all here, let's continue on from our last meeting. Mr. Science Teacher? You were requesting space and supplies for a science lab?"

"I have a name," protested Mr. Science Teacher.

The principal leaned forward, "Forgive me, what was it?"

"It was Harri-" Mr. Science Teacher began.

The principal interrupted him.

"Ah does it matter? To me, all of your names are the subject you teach," reasoned Mr. Principal. He gave a pitying look to one of the teachers. "I'm terribly sorry Ms. Math. I was being insensitive. I just remembered that you don't actually have a name."

Ms. Math looked down sadly.

"Did you have to remind me?" she whimpered.

Mr. Principal laughed hilariously for a few minutes. When he was done, he said, "As I was saying, Mr. Music, please take a seat next to Mr. Toilet over there." Mr. Principal pointed to a little stool in the corner.

Grover looked at him, completely and utterly confused. Then he realized that Mr. Principal was talking to him. He plodded over to the little stool and sat down.

Mr. Toilet raised his hand. "But I teach Social Studies!" he exclaimed.

Mr. Principal waved his hand at Mr. Toilet, "Hey, I can't remember everything. Honestly, half of you guys are named after things people find in the bathroom. What? Don't look at me like that! You think I got time for names?" Mr. Toilet looked away, chastened.

Paul -sorry, Mr. English- gave a look to Grover, like, _You think Camp-Half Blood is bad? Do you see what I have to go through every day?_

"Can we get back to my new lab now?" Mr. Science demanded, "We always get so off track. I've been asking after this lab for three years! Three! Years!"

Mr. Principal slammed his hand down on the desk, knocking down everything.

"Well, stop asking then! We're broke! We're already making the students bring in their own lunches, and now you want a new lab?"

"The kids like bringing their own lunches," Percy's stepdad muttered under his breath, "The old school lunch sucked."

Mr. Principal trained his eyes on his newest teacher.

"Care to repeat that, Mr. English?" he barked.

Paul opened his mouth to argue.

"Where's all this money that we're earning going to?" interrupted Grover innocently.

"Well, haha, now that you've asked," Mr. Principal beamed, flattered, "It goes to my savings account. I'm getting a new computer."

"A new computer! Are you kidding me?" shouted Mr. Science, "What do you want a new computer for? Aren't your Macbooks, iMacs, Samsung Galaxy tablet, iPad, iPad mini, iPod Touch, iPod nano, Nook, Kindle Fire, Apple TV, Chromebook, and ten phones enough already?"

"No...no, not at all," Mr. Principal said, smiling, "I have to agree with you though, Mr. Science. We're getting off topic. We have to improve the quality of the school. I mean, I love being the center of attention and I do deserve it, but the school is supposed to be more important."

"So Mr. Science is getting a lab?" Mr. English asked, bemused.

"Ms. Soap Bar! This school is not about the labs. It's about the students!" Mr. Principal declared, "And I have many plans for improvement. For starters, I'm thinking about converting our Smart-Boards back into chalkboards. This will save more electricity."

"That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!" cried Paul.

"Don't be unreasonable, Ms. Soap Bar," snapped Mr. Principal.

"And stop calling me that! I'm the English teacher, not a soap bar! More importantly, I'm a man!" Ms. Soap Bar protested.

Soon, everyone was shouting at each other.

"I want a science lab!"

"I want to use our real names!"

"I don't have a real name!"

"I'm not old!"

"You're a horrible principal!"

"You're a sucky teacher!"

"83 is perfectly young!"

"What kind of adult says 'sucky'?"

"Maybe you should run this school since you know so much!"

"Ohh, so you're agreeing with us. That's nice to know," Paul Blofis/Mr. English/Ms. Soap Bar shot back.

The satyr had had enough. Grover blew on his pipes. Peace and calm, reminiscent of the seconds between sleep and awakening, wove through the room, bringing out the teachers' deepest secrets.

"I-I'v had a secret crush on you for two years," Ms. Math told Mr. Toilet/Mr. Social Studies.

"Pink is my favorite color," Mr. Science confessed.

"I'm not actually 83. I'm 103," confided Ms. Vice Principal.

"When no one is around I watch My Little Pony," Mr. Principal admitted.

"My step-son is half-Greek god," declared Mr. English.

The teachers snapped out of their trance.

"WHAT?" they demanded in unison.

"Uh...nothing," Mr. English stuttered.

"No, repeat what you just said," said Mr. Principal, suspicious. _  
_

"Grover?" whispered Mr. English desperately.

Grover played a few notes of Paparazzi. When he was done, he snapped his fingers. A blast of wind rushed through the room.

"None of you heard what Mr. English just said," he paused, considering. "You will also remove Mr. Principal as principal and replace him with Mr. English. I mean, Paul Blofis. Speaking of which, you can now use your real names."

Ms. Math frowned. "I don't have a real name," she pointed out.

Grover contemplated this. "Your real name is Rihanna," he decided.

"Last name?"

"No clue. Make one up."

Rihanna considered this.

"Rihanna Math it is," she agreed.

Meanwhile, the teachers had thrown Mr. Principal out of the room.

"Down with tyranny!"

"I feel young again!"

"You too, Ms. Vice Principal?"

"My name is Jane Smith!"

"What the hell? People actually use that as a name?"

"I want a science lab!"

"Long live Principal Blofis!"

Grover slowly crept out of the room.


	2. Chapter II: Percy in Therapy

**Chapter II: Percy in Therapy**

"A-and there was so much blood on my hands," Percy told his therapist.

Dr. Jones, nodded. "Uh huh," he muttered and scribbled down some notes.

"Anything else Mr. Jackson?" Dr. Jones asked.

Percy sat up, "I can't really think of anything, but every once in a while, I start imagining things again. Like I was still trying to make peace with the Romans but every time I tried to, everything just got worse."

Dr. Jones looked strained.

Percy's heart warmed at his doctor's clear sympathy.

Then the doctor farted out loud.

And the moment died.

"Ohhhhhhhhhhh, whew," Dr. Jones said loudly, trying to cover up the sound of it's echo. He moved to a more comfortable position in his seat. Percy scrunched up his nose at the stench.

"Continuing on, I believe that you shouldn't be around anyone or anything that triggers your nightmares. Perhaps if you avoid them, and take some time off for yourself, the nightmares would stop bothering you."

A bit uncertain, Percy asked, "What do you mean?"

Dr. Jones folded his hands. "Mr. Jackson, you should stay away from your friends for a while. Until you're sure you can face those that trigger your nightmares again, relax."

Percy frowned, "Bu-"

"Mr. Jackson, I'm a therapist. I know what's best for you," said Dr. Jones decisively.

"If you say so Doc," Percy said, nodding slowly.

"Come back here in a week or so. I'll be expecting you...Percy Jackson," Dr. Jones said ominously.

Slightly disturbed, Percy asked, "Do you think that the memories would stop bothering me by then?"

"I know so. Also, the total cost for these sessions will be totaled up after the final meeting," Dr. Jones smiled as he closed his book.

"During the mean time, come and visit me whenever you need help," he continued..

Percy nodded and shook hands with the doctor.

As he left, he noticed that was still staring at him. Not in a concerned way though. More in a evil way.

Percy shook off the disturbing thought. Nah, doctors don't hurt you. Bullies, yeah. Math teachers, yeah. Cheerleaders, definately. But doctors, psh.

* * *

_Br-r-r-ring, Br-r-r-ring!_

"Percy, _baaah_, what's up man?" Grover said, smiling as his class exited the room.

Percy was deep in thought. The voice of Dr. Jones repeatedly echoed through his head.

"Do you want to hang out after school later? I'm going to stop by at the arcade. You coming?" Grover continued.

Percy snapped out of his trance and shook his head, "Sorry man, I'm going to have to pass this time."

Grover's smile turned upside down and all around, into a frown, and then back around, but yet remained upside down. Percy was slightly creeped out.

Then, he mentally slapped himself.

"Annabeth?" Grover sympathized, not noticing Percy's internal madness.

"Nope, not this time. I'm just busy after school, I have to help my mother with something," Percy lied. He hoped Grover wouldn't realize he was lying. He would get the wrong message.

Grover patted Percy's back, "Alright then. See you tomorrow, bro. Have fun!"

Percy waved as Grover limped away. What a great guy.

As Percy strolled to his next class, he saw Annabeth at the corner of his eye. Paling, he tried to turn around but Annabeth had already spotted him.

"Hey Seaweed Brain!" she called, jogging to catch up to her boyfriend.

Percy turned around slowly and squeaked, "Hi, Annabeth."

Annabeth grinned at him. "Where are you going after school?" she asked.

Percy gulped nervously, "Oh, I got to help out my mom at home. She's, uh, been a lot busier lately."

Annabeth's grey eyes narrowed.

"Then how about later?" she asked suspiciously.

Thousands of excuses flew through Percy's mind.

He laughed awkwardly, "Um, no...sorry. Stuff...yea, I have a lot of things scheduled for today. Maybe next time?"

Annabeth looked dubious.

"Alright then," she said slowly, "Just remember our movie tomorrow."

Percy laughed nervously, "Haha, oh yeah, tomorrow."

Annabeth kissed him on the cheek before sauntering away. Whew, close call.

* * *

_**Percy's House**_

"Mom, I'm home!" Percy called.

"Percy, why aren't you hanging out with your friends today?" Sally Jackson asked as her son walked past the kitchen.

Percy felt defensive. "Mom, I don't have to hang out with my friends every day," he snapped.

He went upstairs to his room and threw his bookbag down. He plopped onto the bed. He sighed. Maybe he should have just went to the arcade with Grover.

His room felt so quiet.

The clock in his room ticked and then tocked. Percy wondered if that was a real word.

_Tick._

_Tock._

_Tick._

_Tock._

_Tick._

_Tock._

_Knock._

_Knock._

Wait, what? That's not right. Percy snapped out of his trance.

The door opened slightly.

Paul's head poked through, "Hey, there. You alright?" he asked softly.

Percy looked at him and gave him a thumbs up, "Fine," he said, forcing a grin on his face.

Paul clearly didn't believe him. Man, he was a sucky liar.

Paul sat down next to him.

"C'mon, Percy. Tell me about your day. How was your therapy session? What did Dr. Jones ask? When will you go back? What did he tell you? Was he a nice man? He didn't carry any weapons did he? Did you tell anyone about your sessions? Did you pay yet? How old is he? Do I know him? What should we eat for dinner? Spaghetti? Fish? Rice? Do you want to have a barbeque? Did you meet any new friends today? Am I asking too many questions? Did your mother ask this many questions? Are you still having all these nightmares? Can you describe one for me? Am I being too close to you? Do you want some space? You want something to eat? You want a snack? Something to drink? Have you ever drank wine before? How about beer? No, wait, I think that's illegal. How about plain water? Did you finish all your homework yet? Do I have any tests I need to sign? How was your day?" he rambled, nervous about having his first Father-Son moment.

Percy gave him a thumbs up again. "Fine," he said.

_Fail._ Paul smiled, "Oh alright. Just be careful."

He left.

Percy's phone buzzed. Percy scrambled over to his jacket and took out his phone.

"Hello?" Percy asked.

"Percy where are you?" Annabeth said.

"Uh...home...sorry I'm really busy..." Percy nervously replied.

"Well that's fine. I told Grover you were home and he came to visit," Annabeth said.

"Wait...WHAT?" Percy shouted.

"Why? What happened?" Annabeth calmly said.

"Er, nothing. I'll see you tomorrow...bye," Percy said and hung up before anything could happen. But something did happen. Something extremely terrifying did happen. The door blasted open and Grover barged in carrying a handful of arcade tickets, wearing funky shades and a party hat. He latched onto Percy's legs and dragged him off his bed.

"Paul! Help me!" Percy screamed, clawing at the ground.

Paul burst in after Grover.

"What?! What happened?" his stepfather demanded. Grover dropped Percy.

Then, the most disturbing thing in Percy's life happened. Paul and Grover just looked at each other for a while. Then, they nodded.

"Mr. Underwood," Paul addressed.

"Mr. English," Grover smirked.

It was terrifyingly creepy.

This was when Percy was betrayed. Paul nodded and stepped away from the chaos to let Grover pass. Percy was indignant.

"Paul? Seriously?" Percy complained as Grover dragged him out of his room.

* * *

After Percy's (supposedly) best friend kidnapped him and dragged him to the arcade, he started to interrogate him.

"Percy, why are you avoiding everyone?" Grover asked mournfully. Alright, so maybe interrogate is too harsh a word.

Gods, Grover looked so sad, with his forlorn frown and big sad eyes.

Must resist.

Must.

Resist.

Must.

Resi-

"My therapist told me to avoid you guys," Percy admitted.

Grover shrugged, "You could have just said so."

Percy shrugged as well, "I thought you guys would have taken it the wrong way,"

Grover shrugged even harder, "Seriously? We're your best friends!"

Percy looked a bit pissed and shrugged even harder then Grover, "It's not like I have to tell you everything single second of my life,"

Grover shrugged even harder, "I'm just saying that you should have told us about the alone time thing!"

Percy ripped of his arms and threw them at Grover, "You know what, maybe I need some alone time right now!"

Grover grabbed Percy's arms, "Fine!"

Percy reached for the doorknob and remembered that Grover had his arms. He turned back around and saw Grover scratching his furry, shaggy, "butt" with them. Wonderful.


	3. Chapter III: Jason Gives A Speech

**A/N: I'm so, so sorry for the late update! But you know, it's only a few days... :P**

**Soooo Part II of the Therapy Sessions**

* * *

**Chapter III: Jason Gives A Presentation**

"Greetings. My name is Jason Grace, as you all know because I am a pretty wicked monster slaying hero but, that's not the point. The reason why I brought all of you guys here today, is because I have to present you the story of my life. Lupa told me it was therapeutic. Okay, I was born as the son of Jupiter. I have the ability to control lightning and zap them at my enemies and everyone else I choose...even friends. I joined the Twelfth Legion Fulminata child and after twelve years, the praetorship, and a war, I lost my memory to my stepmom. That sounds ridiculous, right? Well not when your stepmom is Juno, Queen of Olympus. Then, I don't know, I fell into a complicated love story. I just woke up on this bus with my friend Leo and this girl named Piper staring at me. It turns out that Juno gave Leo and Piper fake memories of me where I was Leo's best friend and Piper's boyfriend. But the problem is, besides you know, the amnesia, the fake memories, and the kidnapping, I also have an old life in the Roman camp. There, the other praetor, Reyna, used to like me and I still have a lot of really old, really good friends there. And to make everything more complicated, I think Leo might like Piper too!" Jason finished. He sat down and folded his hands on his lap.

"Any questions?" Jason smiled politely.

"Why am I here? I barely even know you!" Clarisse La Rue demanded.

"Exactly. So you won't judge me. Next question," Jason dismissed. Everyone just stared at him.

Jason frowned. "Fine," he decided. "I'll pick someone then." He turned to the skinny, dark-haired boy sitting near him.

"Nico?"

Nico di Angelo glared. Everyone shivered. "I'm only here because you blackmailed me. I'm not going to play therapist too!" Nico declared.

Jason gave his cousin a disappointed look. "And Percy was just telling me what a sweet, cute, little boy you used to be, too," manipulated the evil praetor.

Nico's Scary Glare turned into the Glare of Doooooom.

Percy choked. He protested, "I didn't say that!"

Thalia punched him in the back and he spat out a pool of bloods along with his guts. Then he fell down dead.

"Play along, Kelp for Brains," she hissed.

"But I'm dead!"

"Stop trying to ruin my little brother's therapy!"

"Listen, if you wanted to help Jason with therapy, then maybe you shouldn't have invited him!" Percy pointed at the man taking notes in the corner.

Dr. Jones looked up and clicked his pen shut, "Excuse me?"

Percy folded his arms. "You told me to avoid all my friends!" he cried.

"I am the therapist. You paid me to give you advice."

"...the rapist,"

"THERAPIST!"

"Dude, you sound like Juno," Jason interjected.

"Guys, can we get back to the therapy?" Gwen sighed. Sitting next to her, Dakota nodded in agreement.

"Right, well I support Reyna," Thalia declared.

"WHAT?" Clarisse demanded. "You would support that conniving, ambitious, manipulative, invading-"

"I'm going to have to go with Reyna too," Percy cut of Clarisse.

Clarisse glared at Percy, "Oh great, everyone's supporting Reyna now?"

Katie Gardener raised her hand. "Well, I don't really know Reyna that well, so I'm siding with Piper."

Drew picked at her nails. "Sweetheart, I can't believe you're supporting that fake- I mean, girl, over Reyna."

"You're just saying that because she was a better cabin leader than you!" Will Solace argued.

"Can we get to the point?" Dr. Jones interrupted.

"Can we take attendance?" Jason asked. "I don't even know some of you people."

"But you invited us," Clarisse pointed out.

"Nope, that was Thalia's job."

Thalia smirked.

"So how should we do this?" Jason asked.

"I'll go first, because I'm the strongest demigod here," Thalia declared, "Thalia Grace, Lieutenant of Artemis, Daughter of Zeus."

Percy scoffed. "Yeah right, like you're the strongest. Who saved Olympus here-"

"Luke."

"Shut up."

"Guys, can we all just listen to my story? Please, I need all the support I can get,"

"There's a simpler way to solve this," Dr. Jones groaned. "Alright, whoever isn't interested in Jason's story, please leave."

The entire room of demigods stood up and pushed their chairs away. In unison, they marched out of the room. Even Dr. Jones left the room. Jason just sat there for a while before he got up and left too. Let's face it, his story's not that interesting.

* * *

**A few hours later...**

The sky was dark and rolling with clouds. Rain shot down onto the muddy earth, trees being pulled from their roots and cars swimming with the fishes. Percy walked up the mountain, covering his eyes, trying to see beyond the mist. "Where is he?" he muttered and continued climbing. The rain poured harder and lightning flashed around him. Percy stopped when he saw a human figure standing on the peak. "Jason!" he yelled but was thrown back by the wind. Percy willed the rain to protect him from the wind and walked a bit faster. When he reached the peak, he turned the boy around.

"Jason!" he yelled.

"Oh, hey there Percy," Jason said casually.

"What are you doing?! You're destroying the school!" Percy yelled, trying to overpower the noise.

"Oh, I am?" Jason said cluelessly.

"Yes! Just look at the damage you're causing!" Percy screamed.

Jason looked over the mountain and saw this flood, with burnt trees and rubbish carelessly floating in it. He even noted the teacher, Ms. Math who was stuck in her car screaming too.

"What were you doing?" Percy asked.

"Well, Dr. Jones told me to relax a bit, so I'd thought that I'd go up here to let out my anger," Jason replied.

They both gazed over the wreckage. "So..." Percy began, "Did it work?" Jason nodded happily, "I feel great!"

In the next five minutes, half of the world was destroyed because of Percy and Jason releasing all their anger out in the world. What's left of it? Nothing much, just a piece of rock or two.

Just kidding.

Really, Reyna and Lupa found them wrecking New Rome and had them beaten to death, the traditional Roman punishment, then skinned their bodies and hung them on a peg.

Again, we're joking.

They were just sentenced to dishwashing for a few weeks.

Too bad they were dishwashing for an entire camp!

Just kidding again.

What I meant to say was that their skinned bodies were hung on a nail, not a peg. My bad.


End file.
